Seriously, we AREN'T ON DRUGS!
by Miss Calysto and WWFDivaGirl
Summary: Another spot of mad humour from the world of Miss Calysto-Helmsley and WWFDivaGirl. Please R/R! Featuring stars such as HHH, Y2J, Jeff, Kurt, Billy, Chuck, Austin, RVD, Hurricane...


Title: Seriously, we AREN'T ON DRUGS!  
  
Authors: Miss Calysto-Helmsley and WWFDivaGirl  
  
Disclaimer: We own Tasha and KitKat. Vince owns everyone else. (Until we take over the world!!!)  
  
A/N: Written after Miss Calysto-Helmsley got to #10 on the top 100 fan sites. (She's now #6 YAY!!) Set in The Game's house, which is renowned (well, between Miss C-H and Diva) for suddenly having random Superstars pop up out of nowhere.  
  
*jumps in Hunter's arms*  
  
"I did it baby!"  
  
*Hunter smiles and Kit notices that look in his eye....*  
  
Kit, Tasha and Chris all yell in unison.... "NO SEX!"  
  
Tasha turns and smiles at Chris, "But you a different story"  
  
*Chris quickly picks up Tasha and kisses her*  
  
*Kit whispered to Hunter* "They're turning into rabbits." *Hunter mumbled something under his breath and Kit turned around sharply* "TELL ME......YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT!!!"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Who the hell let Austin in here?!" Yelled Chris  
  
*Everyone turned to look at Austin who just stared right back*  
  
"Hey! Damnit I like saying WHAT! now leave me the hell alone or I'll shoot ya'll like I did Nash on SMACKDOWN!"  
  
*Everyone quickly left Austin alone*  
  
"Now, where were we?" asked Tasha, looking at Chris.  
  
"This is unfair! It's my house and he gets sex, but I don't!" Hunter wailed.  
  
"Uh, Hunter, there's a REASON." said Kit Kat.  
  
"What?"  
  
Austin: "What?!"  
  
unseen Crowd "What?"  
  
Austin "What?"  
  
"Shutup, damnit!!!" Kit Kat screamed.  
  
Austin: "..."  
  
"Anyway, it's because I say so!"  
  
Hunter looked down at the ground and suddenly shot a look back at Kit Kat. "I have had it!" the depth of his voice caused everyone in the room to jump, "This is MY house, you are MY fiance', and I LOVE YOU! So get your cute little ass upstairs, and get on MY bed and I am NOT going to tell you again." Hunter finished his speech and stared at KitKat...who was smiling.  
  
"What Kit?"  
  
Austin: "WHAT!?"  
  
Hunter glared at Austin who quickly shut up  
  
Kit grinnned: "That's all I was waiting for you to say!"  
  
Kit left a very confused Hunter standing there while Tasha was laughing so hard she was crying  
  
Chris: "Hunter aren't you forgetting something?"  
  
Hunter: "what?"  
  
Austin: "what?!"  
  
Hunter, Chris and Tasha: *blinks*  
  
Chris: "Uh... you're fiance is upstairs... in your room...."  
  
Tasha and Chris burst into laughter at the speed Hunter raced up the stairs, leaving a trail of clothing. "Now, where were WE?" asked Tasha, smiling at Chris.  
  
Chris smiled at Tasha, and said "I think.."  
  
Austin:"what?!"  
  
Chris sighed and Tasha started to take off her earrings. She ran towards Austin and knocked him in the face. Austin yelped and took off, Chris watched the two race around the living room. Chris stuck his foot out and tripped Austin. Then he watched as Tasha put Austin into the walls of Jericho.  
  
"Your sexy when you're dominating." Chris said with a smirk.  
  
"You're dominating when you're sexy" said Tasha, letting Austin out of the hold. "And something tells me that Hunter is the submissive type."  
  
Chris's eyes opened wide. "Why's that?"  
  
Tasha smirked, and looked at her fiance. "Girls talk, Chris."  
  
Chris looked a little nervous. "how much do ya'll talk."  
  
"Well, Kit Kat knows about....well everything." Tasha added with a smile  
  
Chris heard a growl come from Hunter's room that sounded like Hunter's "on camera" personality and not the timid Hunter that was usually wrapped around Kit's finger. Chris smirked.  
  
"He doesn't sound like he's being submissive to me."  
  
"Uh, that's KitKat" Tasha smirked.  
  
Chris looked at Tasha, surprised. "How do you..."  
  
"I just do"  
  
"Oh." Chris said, thinking. "Does she know about...?"  
  
"yep." said Tasha.  
  
"So you know Hunter's secrets?" Asked Chris, and Tasha nodded. "Tell!"  
  
"I can't tell you that!" Tasha squealed.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"Because?"  
  
Tasha nodded and Chris started chasing her round the room. "Kit!!"  
  
Hunter opened the door (forgetting he was wearing the handcuffs) and yelled down at Tasha. "She's busy Tash! Whatcha want?"  
  
Tasha started bounding up the stairs and actually ran past Hunter and into the room. Kit was laying on the bed wearing Hunters shirt and a bikini bottom, Tasha jumped on the side of the bed. "Chris is trying to attack me!" Katherine looked angrily at Chris.  
  
Chris and Hunter looked at each other then back at the girls. Tasha shook her head "Hell no! The tag team stops at the ring buster!"  
  
  
  
Chris and Hunter looked at the girls, confused, until Chris noticed the pink fluffy cuffs. "Hunter, what the HELL are you wearing?!"  
  
Tasha and Katherine smiled smugly, and as Hunter went red, Katherine said "The same thing you wear, Chris"  
  
"I... but... you...." started Chris, as Tasha and Katherine burst into giggles.  
  
Hunter started laughing and glanced at Chris. "Ya'll can use the bedroom down the hall, but damnit I've been waiting along time so let me finish damnit!"  
  
"Eh, hello? Hunter, there's the guest room! I'm not having them in the bathroom... the mess they caused last time!" KitKat said.  
  
  
  
Tasha sniggered slightly, as did Chris. "I'll leave ya now. I don't think Chrissy-poo is going to attack me... in THAT way, any way..."  
  
Katherine burst into giggles as Tasha and Chris left the room. Hunter shook his head.  
  
"I don't understand you sometimes, Kit!"  
  
"Yeah but you love me."  
  
"True."  
  
Angle: Oh its true it's damn.........what the hell is up with the Handcuffs Hunter?  
  
"WHAT THE HELL? How did you get into my house! Get the hell out! And I swear if you so much as glance at my girl I'm going to kill you! NOW GET OUT!"  
  
Angle left the room and walked down the hallway, he heard a noise in the guest room. Tasha and Chris were.... enjoying themselves.... when suddenly Kurt Angle appeared out of nowhere.  
  
"What the hell are you doing, Kurt?!" yelled Chris.  
  
"I heard a noise, and I decided to check it out."  
  
"That noise was us, now leave, ok?" asked Chris.  
  
"ooh! A whip! What's this for? Wow, it looks used, is it an antique? What are you cringing for?" asked Kurt, the ever innocent.  
  
"Just go home, Kurt... we've already got Austin, Edge, Christian, Chuck, Billy......."  
  
  
  
Angle was still holding the whip while Chris was pulling the covers up over Tasha.  
  
"HUNTER!" Chris yelled angrily.  
  
A few moments later Hunter appeared, he was licking chocolate off of his fingers.  
  
"This better be good Chris." Hunter finally noticed Angle and rolled his eyes.  
  
"I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OUT!"  
  
Angle blinked.  
  
  
  
"Ooo chocolate? I didn't know you had anything baking Hunter, how did you get to the kitchen so quick."  
  
"see? I told you chocolate is the most fun food in the world." said Tasha, smugly as Katherine appeared.  
  
"Did you spill some chocolate on your legs?" asked Kurt, where Katherine had a chocolate line on her right leg.  
  
"Something like that, Kurt. Perhaps I should ask Stephanie to explain to you."  
  
"ooh, that sounds like fun!" Kurt said, as everyone started giggling like mad.  
  
Hunter wrapped his arms around Kit and made sure her robe stayed closed. Hunter felt defeated as Angle continued commented on things around the room.  
  
"Kurt?" Tasha said sweetly.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Billy and Chuck are downstairs..."Tasha started and Kit caught the hint and continued, "They'd be glad to explain the chocolate AND the whip to ya." Hunter tried not to laugh and hugged Kit tighter.  
  
Chris was gone, he'd buried his face in a pillow next to Tasha and was laughing madly.  
  
"and they'd gladly explain about the noises coming from the basement..." said Tasha, with a wicked glint in her eyes.  
  
"Wow! Will they show me what's making the noise?" he asked, enthralled.  
  
"Oh, definetly!" said Katherine, barely keeping a straight face. "The only catch is you can't tell ANYONE, you must do EXACTLY what they say, and you have to leave us alone."  
  
"Ooh, that sounds like fun!" Kurt squealed. "It'll be an adventure!"  
  
"Pee-wee's Big Adventure!" Chris yelled with his face buried in the pillow.  
  
Hunter by this time had lost it. He actually fell on his knees laughing, he still had a tight grip on Kat's waist. Angle looked at Hunter.  
  
"be careful Hunter, you may get some of that chocolate on Katherine's leg on you!" Angle said thoughtfully. Chris got up and slapped Angle in the back.  
  
"Ya know what Kurt, why don't ya get Austin to go with ya, I'm sure he's down in the kitchen getting a beer."  
  
"Beer's bad... but do you think he'll have milk?" asked Kurt, his eyes lighting up so much they were like little lightbulbs.  
  
"Definately, Kurt, unless you used it for your milk bath, Kit..." said Tasha, and Katherine shook her head.  
  
"Milk bath? You mean, you bathe in Milk?! How fun would that be!!!"  
  
Kurt suddenly grabbed Katherine and dragged her over to the bed near Tasha and used his other arm to grab Tasha.  
  
"C'mon you two, ya'll have some great ideas, lets go have some fun."  
  
Chris was no longer laughing, another man had his hands on Tasha while all she was wearing was her underwear. He glanced at Hunter who also looked pissed, he had slowly gotten up and was glaring at Kurt. Chris was pissed but at least Tasha had on more then just a robe. The girls held their breath, the boys were about to explode  
  
Tasha grinned wickedly at Kit Kat. "Come on Katherine, let's 'have fun'!"  
  
Katherine stared at Tasha like she had lost her mind, when she suddenly realised what the (now) redhead was on about. "Yeah, come on, Kurtie!"  
  
Hunter and Chris started arguing, as Tasha and KitKat pulled Kurt out of the room.  
  
"see you later guys!" said Tasha.  
  
"Bye, Huntsie!" Kit Kat called, and they headed towards the bathroom, and they pulled Kurt in and locked the door. The room was huge and filled with all sorts of beauty products.  
  
"What the hell?!" Chris started to open the door but actually walked into it. "Ow! Damnit it's locked."  
  
Hunter raised an eyebrow and tried to force open the door, but it still wasn't budging. Chris suddenly spoke up.  
  
"I'll buy you a new door, man." Chris said, his voice proving he was growing irate. Hunter nodded and took a step back as Chris kicked open the door and the two extremely jealous fiance's came falling into the bathroom.  
  
"What the hell are you two doing?!" shreiked Katherine, as Hunter and Chris fell into the room. "Haven't you heard of privacy?!"  
  
"Not really!!" Yelled Chris, staring at the scene in front of him, disbeleiving. Kurt was sitting on a lazy boy chair, and Tasha was sitting on his knee, and Katherine was at his feet. She had a small bottle in her hands, and Tasha's fingers were all gooey. Katherine grinned evilly and showed the boys a bottle of "permenant purple" Nail polish, and Tasha smiled, and pointed to Kurt's makeup ridden face.  
  
"Did you really have to disturb us?" Tasha moaned, and Hunter nodded. "Come on, Kit, let's leave the jealous guys alone for a while. Come on, Kurt!"  
  
Kurt jumped up and followed the two scantaly dressed diva's. Hunter and Chris looked like they'd been slapped in the face.  
  
"They trying to piss us off." Hunter said to Chris  
  
"it's working!" Chris almost yelled.  
  
The two followed closely behind Kit, Tasha, and Kurt. They walked into the kitchen to kind Austin and yes....even RVD. RVD and Austin almost choked on their beer when they saw how "underdressed" the two were. Kurt smiled.  
  
"Hey fella's! Got any milk?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said have you got any milk?"  
  
"How can you think about milk when the two hottest Diva's are standing next to you practically naked?" RVD asked.  
  
"Where?" said Kurt, looking at the ceiling and spinning around so violently, he ended up falling over.  
  
He looked up from where he fell and Kat quickly jumped behind Tasha. She didn't want Kurt looking up her robe. Tasha chuckled.  
  
"Are you ok Kurtsie?" Tasha asked in her little puppy dog voice.  
  
RVD and Austin heard a growl and saw Chris and Hunter walk into the room. RVD whispered to Austin. "This will be interesting."  
  
"What?"  
  
RVD shook his head and sighed. "Poor Kurt!" simpered Tasha with her best acting. "Are you feeling all right?" she helped him up.  
  
"Yeah... wow! You're wearing red!" said Kurt.  
  
"Kurt, I know someone who LOVES red!" said KitKat, smiling.  
  
"I love red! Meee!!!!!" Kurt sang... off tune.  
  
"Yes, and Billy and Chuck!" called Tasha...  
  
"What?" Austin said on cue.  
  
"Hey! I like red too!" RVD said while he pointed to himself.  
  
Chuck and Billy walked into the room and looked at everyone.  
  
"What?" Billy asked. Katherine sighed.  
  
"What?!" Austin yelled. Katherine walked over and held her hand up like she was going to hit Austin but he jumped back and stuck his tongue out at her. Hunter walked over and took Austin's seat and began drinking a beer. RVD smiled as he watched Chris walk over and grab a beer too.  
  
"Ya'll ok?" RVD asked.  
  
"Yeah, just peachy." Chris said sarcastically. Billy and Chuck were talking to Kurt and Tasha. Billy and Chuck were openly flirting with Tasha, which caused alarm in Chris, who sat watching Tasha. "Just peachy!" she said, and they all burst into laughter. Chris just about had a heart attack when Tasha leaned forward and whispered into Billy's ear, and he looked at her bra, smiling.  
  
"See you down there, then!" he said, dragging Chuck and Kurt with him to the basement.  
  
Tasha smiled at Katherine, and they both left the room, and the four guys followed at a distance. Katherine and Tasha linked arms and skipped ahead of Billy and Chuck and Kurt and opened the door that leads down to the basement.  
  
"What's down there?" Kurt asked, sounding like he was five.  
  
"Uh, our special training area." Chuck said.  
  
"Cool!" Kurt ran down the stairs followed by Billy and Chuck. Tasha calmly closed the door, locked it and turned to face the others.  
  
"You know Kurt likes strudel!" Kit laughed and RVD joined into the laughter.  
  
Tasha and KitKat headed back up the stairs, and Hunter and Chris followed eagerly. Nothing could get between the fiance's now, at least, nothing as difficult to get rid of as thick Kurt Angle.  
  
"Someone looks eager" said RVD to Austin.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Never Mind." said RVD.  
  
Another figure approaced. "Hi, do you know where Chris is?" asked the other person.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just up there."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Thanks!" said the other person.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hi Chris!!!" said the body. "AAAGHH! What are you doing?!"  
  
"JEFF!!!!" yelled Chris  
  
Tasha and Chris sighed and Chris slowly got off of Tasha. "I'm showing my girl why I'm the champion...NOW GET OUT!"  
  
"What do you mean? How are you showing her?" Jeff started to pull up a chair next to the bed when Tasha smiled wickedly.  
  
"Ya know what Jeff, your buddy Kit is down the hall, her and Hunter have chocolate!" Jeff's eyes lit up and he left the room and walked up to a closed door he put his ear to the door and heard what sounded like Hunter moaning.  
  
"Wow! That must be good chocolate!" Jeff thought as he swung the door open.  
  
Jeff pushed open the door, and Katherine pushed Hunter off her, and he fell on the floor.  
  
"Hiya!!!" Jeff said, bouncing into the room. He was hit with a flood of cushions and pillows, and he had no choice but to leave the room. As he stood outside, he saw RVD and Austin and he went to talk to them.  
  
"It was so strange. I went into Hunter's room, and they were... they were..."  
  
"What?!" said RVD and Austin  
  
"They were..."  
  
Austin and RVD was trying not to laugh as Jeff was trying to describe what he saw.  
  
"I don't know, Hunter was on top of Katherine and he was moaning like he was in pain or something, ya know what? I think he was trying to pin her! Yeah! They must've been wrestling!" Jeff started to return upstairs.  
  
"Where are you going?" RVD called after Jeff.  
  
"I'm going to be the referee!" Jeff said excitedly.  
  
Austin rolled his eyes. "That boys been dropped on his head too many times."  
  
RVD smiled at Austin and before Austin could stop him, RVD screamed out, "WHAT?"  
  
Tasha and Chris suddenly appeared on the landing, as Hunter was yelling blue murder in his room. "I'm the referee!!!" they heard Jeff say.  
  
"Oh God, save us!" said Tasha, grinning slightly. She turned around to see RVD and Austin grinning more than slightly, and she realised she only had her see-through micro dressing gown on. She shreiked and ran into her room, being chased by a skantily clad Chris carrying the whip  
  
Tasha and Chris shut the door and landed on the bed laughing. Chris gathered Tasha in his arms and kissed her fiercely. When they broke the kiss, Tasha snuggled closer to Chris.  
  
"I do love you, ya know." Tasha said into Chris's neck.  
  
"I know. But it still doesn't come close to how much I love you." Chris said sweetly.  
  
The sweet moment was quickly broken when they heard Jeff run into the room and actually jump into the bed, landing between them. Hunter raced into the room screaming at the top of his lungs.  
  
"YOU TOUCHED KAT YOU LITTLE BLUE HAIRED FREAK!"  
  
Jeff started shaking and actually latched onto Tasha. "I was just trying to pin her like you were doing, I thought it was a new move! What did I do wrong!"  
  
Tasha stared at Chris, and they both started laughing. "Jeff, it IS a new move, sweetie, but it's only used by fiances and married couples." Tasha explained to him gently.  
  
"So what did I do wrong?"  
  
"She's engaged to Hunter." Chris said.  
  
"Oh"  
  
"I'll give you 'Oh'!!!!" yelled Hunter, approaching the Hardy angrily.  
  
Chris jumped up and tried to hold back Hunter. "Calm down Hunt, it's Jeff, he didn't know any better." Hunter glared at Chris.  
  
"You mean you're cool with him holding Tasha with her wearing that micro gown right?" Hunter asked.  
  
Chris suddenly turned sharply and the two men glared at Jeff.  
  
"I'm in trouble ain't I Tasha?" Jeff asked with a hint of fear in his voice.  
  
"I would tell you to run but they're covering the door." Tasha said sadly.  
  
Jeff gripped onto Tasha, a distinct feel of fear emitting from him, when suddenly, all the lights went out, and music started playing loudly from nowhere.  
  
"Stand Back! There's a Hurricane coming through!!!"  
  
The lights flicked back on again, and Hurricane Helms appeared in the doorway. "Fear not, citizen Jeff, The Hurricane will save you!"  
  
Hunter fell to his knees. "Why? WHY? why must every one come to my house! All I want to do is make Katherine scream my name! Is that so much to ask!"  
  
Hurricane walked into the room and stood by the bed suddenly noticing Tasha, "Why citizen Tasha! You aren't covered properly!" Hurricane took off his cape and laid it on Tasha.  
  
Katherine walked in wearing the same short robe. "Did you kill Jeff?"  
  
"Helms came to Helmsley's and saved Hardy." said Raven, who appeared out of nowhere, talking in riddle-like fashion.  
  
"What is the deal with your house?!" yelled Chris, backing away from the misunderstood loner Raven. "Austin, do you still have that gun?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Other Superstars: "What?"  
  
Austin: "What?"  
  
Hurricane: "What? Guns are bad, Citizens Jericho and Austin! I must take it away immediately!"  
  
Austin took out his gun and shot Hurricane. Trapping him in the same net as he hit Nash with. RVD looked at Raven.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"Honestly?" Raven asked back.  
  
"Yeah." RVD pushed.  
  
"I got a crush on Kat and wanted to try and see her naked." He said with a grin.  
  
"Don't we all?" said a voice behind them, that turned out to be Maven.  
  
"Maven, do you want to live tomorrow?" Asked Hunter, annoyed.  
  
"Not really, Undertaker's got a grudge against me...."  
  
"I see your point..." HHH admitted.  
  
"Perhaps I can help you, Citizen Maven?" asked the Hurricane, struggling out of the net, trying to keep his cool.  
  
"You can help me get Katherine?" asked Maven, smiling.  
  
"No, Katherine will be mine!" he said.  
  
Hunter was growing annoyed. "OK! Katherine is mine! Everyone except Chris and Tasha, get the hell out of my house."  
  
Everyone stared at Hunter. And Chris walked up and put his hand on Hunter's shoulder. "If that would've worked, we wouldn't have this many people by now!"  
  
Hunter sighed as Tasha suddenly grew very angry and jumped up. "Alright, everyone, I hear Stephanie's giving free sex at her place!!!"  
  
Suddenly, the crowd around them disappeared, and they were left with the two couples. "Night, Tasha!" said KitKat, walking into the main bedroom.  
  
"Night KitKat!" said Tasha, walking into the guest room.  
  
Hunter dropped on his knees, praising the lord, and the boys ran into their rooms. "Finally, Katherine will yell my name!" Hunter yelled.  
  
Austin, RVD, Jeff, Kurt, Billy, Chuck, Hurricane, Raven, Maven: "What?!"  
  
~*~The End~*~ 


End file.
